The Morning After
Disclaimer:
The following is a description of what happened to me the morning after my happy battle. I am no expert but I was lucky that acceptance was abundant in my heart. And this is the reason why I say I am finally free.
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I woke up thick-faced that fateful night. My eyes are swollen. My hair was a mess. For while I thought it translated what my life was all about at that point. Broken. Bleeding. Sad. After hours of crying in my sleep, now you know why.
But I needed to face another day of routine. This thing called job that feeds me. I need it to afford the ocassional trip I need when I need a boost. Or the simple joys like Dairy Queen’s blizzard in strawberry banana. I needed to get up. And so I did.
I was staring at my monitor and saw his message. He was asking how I am and if I was okay. But of course I’d say yes. I was amazed how my tears can show me what truth really means. No matter how truth really hurts, it leaves us no choice but to have the courage to move on.
I read his email for the second time. Then I started typing, putting on my happiest face and my impeccable convincing tone. I was ready to rekindle my love affair with the word “pretend”. And it was a perfect love affair indeed. He was convinced I was alright.
As I come near closing my email, I was sure I needed a change of heart. And so I started signing my letter with the two hardest words I need to say. If you want to know, go ask me. And I’ll tell you what are those words.
As they say and I quote: “When you’ve found the reason to walk away, never look back, just keep on walking. Even if the destination is unclear. Save some pride and honor for yourself. It’s better to get lost moving on than being broken and stranded after all.”
PS: Fast forward to the many mornings after my happy battle: Now I have never been happier. I’ve been praying everytime I go to bed. I am so ready to face the world.
