Purple*wink

Hey there you guys… Let me tell you, this is probably the most difficult thing I had to write to date. No, I am not talking about my heartaches.. Or my wild imaginations.. I decided for this entry, I am ready to write about my mother.

For the longest time, I never had the courage to write about my mom and her impact in my existence in this world.  But let me tell you, when I feel sick or sad, it is by this time that I so miss my mom, terribly.

My mother passed away December 2005. I just started on a new job with HSBC. I never made it for Christmas during that year because I was training for my new job. I never suspected anything that bad could happen even when I was told that on December 24th, she was rushed to the hospital. You see, my mom had occassional hypertension moments and I thought this one is just one of them. I was however wrong. From the moment she was brought in the hospital, she never woke up.. I never saw her smile again.

I was planning to spend New Year with my family in Virac. But too bad, i didn’t make it just in time before my mom finally said goodbye. The last time I saw her was October that year when she visited me thinking I was still recovering from a recent heartache with an ex.

The day I learned she was gone, I could not stop crying. Even up to this day, it’s only my mom who can make me cry. When I dream about her I always shed a tear or two. I never understand tears so much until the day I saw her lying there waiting to be hugged.

My life was never the same again after she was gone. I cried in all movies with a mother and daughter scenes. I kept telling Marcy he should appreciate his mom more when they have disagreements. I am especially touched seeing a mother and a baby and the bond that only them can understand.

I once had a date and in the middle of the that date, I just started crying when my date asked me about my mom. I just thought it was funny to talk and eat at the same time. But my date was so concerned, he said it’s better we change topic….

I have long accepted that my mom is happy with the Lord, but I just miss her sometimes. You see, my mom was the strongest person I know. When I start talking about her, I think it would take me 3 days and 2 nights to finish my stories.. I remembered that when I was asked to talk about my mom during her funeral, I cannot stop talking, the person from the church had to give me stern warnings to stop as the priest seemed to be impatient already… But I did not care, hahahaha.. I was just there fascinated with my mom’s stories.

I never failed to visit my mom when I go visit Virac. I still cry and never miss to shed a tear. Sometimes, I thought about the fact of when will I stop crying when I remember her. I know it’s gonna be a long shot, but I have said this many times that I would probably be crying still even after 50 years.

I miss you Mama.. Thank you for teaching me life’s greatest lesson. For your strength and for believing I can be a good writer when writing seemed to be the only thing that matters to me at 16.

I will always remember you even when I am not sick.

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 30th, 2008 at 1:56 am Filed under Random Thoughts and. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.